| Assless Chaps |
[04 Jun 2009|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
The ambience of this place makes me smile inside. It may be a corporate store that is ruled by a powerful coffee elite, but I can’t help but to enjoy the atmosphere. I may be biased, considering I worked at Starbucks for almost two years, but barring any company loyalty, I really do love this company. I am not crazy about the strict dress code rules nor am I happy about the current economic situation that is creating issues for a lot of partners, myself included. The people I’ve met through the company though are amazing. I have made awesome friends in other partners as well as frequent customers. I liked my first store in Rochester Hills, but the East Lansing store is by far the better of the two. One of my pet peeves of Starbucks is the customer base. In Rochester we got a lot of rich men’s wives, who didn’t work but could still afford a $4.00 drink every day. These women were often pushy, impatient, and rude. I like the East Lansing store so much better because the customers here are mainly students and therefore are usually not rich snobs or super impatient. I like to be able to carry a real conversation on with the customers. And it is always nice to have something in common with them.
I don’t quite know what started me on this angle. I’m sitting in Starbucks right now, an Iced Grande, 5-pump, light ice Chai in hand. (Yeah, I know the ordering process is a bit tired, but it works and is universal. That’s saying more than some coffee places.) Mindi and I both have tests tomorrow in our summer classes. I am taking Broadcast Journalism so I can actually take real Journalism classes in the fall and complete my degree by spring. I like taking summer classes because I get things out of the way, and I have unlimited time to do my assignments. It does suck though, because I am currently unemployed and I would like a job, but with class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning for three hours, I am a bit limited. Also, I would prefer to not work weekends since I like to go to Hazel Park where my other best friend lives and where I have come to really like all the people. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that a certain some there puts a huge smile on my face. The current economic situation of the world sucks for many reasons, and I am currently feeling it because of unemployment. I need a fucking job!
So summer is here once again. With my excessive free time, it seems I always turn to livejournal and update. I wish I had the dedication to write in a journal daily or at least weekly. Alas, I can never bring myself to remember to do so.
I would like to start a blog though. I’m not sure what I would write about though? I would like to review music, as I started on another journal with music videos. But I am not super familiar with all things music and music industry. Not to mention, I am not always up on the most recent music…
Speaking of music, my iPod is on random right now, and Paramore just came on. I can’t decide how I feel about this band. They are young and pretty cookie-cutter other than the fact they have a female lead. I suppose that has become more common, but in the alternative scene, Hayley Williams was one of the pioneers of lead-women. And I respect that. Her voice is decent; I can’t say I have been a fan of many female singers in alternative or rock bands. Ms. Williams, though, is probably one of the better ones. In anything I’ve heard live, she has had a consistent, nice voice. So that is definitely commendable. I still don’t think I like their music though, which is just too bad.
I think I need to sign out now. Mindi is ready to go, and she has already gotten one parking ticket today.
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| sceen queens and efags |
[04 Jun 2009|01:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Umbrella by All Time Low |
] |
So after the last entry, I decided to post another poem I wrote for my class. I feel it warrants merit on this type of site...
Last Night’s Show
Douse the lights,
and cue the screams.
The writhing bodies coalesce,
the gravity of personal space reduced to nothing.
A supernova in a tiny corner of the universe,
more commonly known as Saint Andrew’s Hall.
This is the one venue where they care enough to
pause,
offer a hand to the fallen.
Their snide judgments remain at home with
“You are not leaving the house looking like that, young man!”
and the overflowing inboxes,
scene queens and efags.
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| I think like a verb |
[04 Jun 2009|01:11am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blue and Yellow by The Used |
] |
So barring online fights, drama, accusations and the such, livejournal is a spectacular interwebz community... (So I may be hyperbolizing in the slightest - its really the place for emo kids to bitch, scene queens to post ridiculous pictures of themselves, fans to post fanfiction ranging from Twilight to The Beatles all being gay and screwing each other. I could go on and on with the kind of shit you can find on here...) But, I must digress. I fail at updating my wonderful journal so here is the latest installment in my life:
(I really should insert a cut here so I don't rape your page, but I can't remember the HTML right now, and I really don't feel like looking it up, so apologies.)
Relationships are fucking hard, and it doesn’t help that I always seem to get to a certain point and totally fuck up. I feel as if I need a list of all the boys I’ve dated and the many mistakes I’ve made involving them:
-I can’t even recall who my first boyfriend was. I remember being enamoured with Ross Roadruck. He was my best friend when I was in preschool and kindergarten in Cincinnati. But I don’t think that actually counts.
-There was David Kaminski in elementary school. We liked each other, and we were each other’s first kiss. But, that was fifth grade so nothing came of that.
-I dated Dan Culbertson in eighth grade (?) I’m not sure how that relationship began. It was your standard middle school I-like-you-you-like-me-let’s-date situation. We wrote a lot of sappy love notes to each other.
-I got set up with Kyle I-can’t-even-remember-the-kid’s-last-name freshman year, and that lasted 2.5 seconds.
-My first real boyfriend was Dan Forton. I was fifteen or sixteen, a sophomore, and he was a senior. I fell head over heels for the older, immensely cooler guy. Then I wasted a school trip to London by spending the entire thing with him. Well, turns out all he wanted was head (Kim and I have a song about this, ask us to sing it sometime…) so that was doomed to fail. Oh, and he was my first kiss. And I can brag that was a unique one. It involved cafeteria tables and toothpicks…
-The next boy I dated, I was convinced he was THE ONE. Aaron Goodwin. The first thing I remember about him was his pink and black converse and his wind-tousled blonde hair. He looked like the new kid from California. He was a skater boy through and through, not to mention two years younger than me. In what would prove to be the most drama-filled year of my life, I dated Aaron. We broke up for less than a day, and I kissed another boy who just happened to be Aaron’s ex-best friend. Needless to say, that didn’t go over well, and to get back at me, he cheated on me months later with his best friend who happened to be one of the girl’s on my color guard team who I actually liked. That was a tumultuous relationship. At one point, we planned to run away to California together. We also wanted to get married and have a kid named Travis. Aaron was my pretty much everything else (up to third base, if you catch my drift).
-I was single for awhile; there may have been a few boys here and there, but nothing serious. Then I began the journey through my longest relationship yet. Ryan Winowiecki was the classic geek. He was even red-flagged due to his immense interest in fire arms. He also played more video games than almost anyone I know. But we hit it off after being friends for awhile. We dated the second half of our senior year of high school and then through October of our freshman year in college. See, this is where the problems for me and boys began. I apparently don’t handle distance very well, and Ryan packed his bags and traveled 500 fucking miles away to Michigan Tech. We worked it out for awhile, but without him there was difficult, and I ended it just after my nineteenth birthday. To this day, though, I appreciate every day I had with Ryan. He is a great guy, and he was a wonderful boyfriend. I just don’t think we were meant to be together for life. Some of my greatest memories will always be with him though.
-Enter the first serious boyfriend of my college career: Mike Ritt. Mike and I were set up by a mutual friend. At first, I was leery because I had just gotten out of a relationship with Ryan, but Mike and I fell hard and fast. We spent every waking and every sleeping moment together. I didn’t really have many friends that second semester freshman year because I spent so much time with him (though we rarely had alone time in either of our rooms because I had three other roommates, and his roommate played WoW ALL THE FUCKING TIME!). We were each other’s first, and I don’t regret that because I do think we really did care about one another. This is where the story gets sad though. He went home to Holland, MI and I to Rochester. I had a really good friend at home, Matt. And Matt was the epitome of the type of guy I wanted to date at the time: super emo. His bottled black hair, My Chem tees and black nail polish was irresistible. There was no denying that I was attracted to Matt. Things became tense between Mike and I, and I made a recurring mistake: being unfaithful. It wasn’t long ‘til Mike and I crashed and burned.
-Immediately, I began dating Matt, which was a bad idea just because we were such good friends. They always say, “Don’t date your best friend.” Well, it’s kind of true. Matt and I were together maybe two months. During that time he text-message broke up with me, we fought over stupid stuff, and we didn’t really do anywhere. Another relationship that just wasn’t meant to work out.
-Again I stayed single for awhile, choosing to lie low for awhile. That is until another older man took my interest. Ian McNabb is a quirky guy with a great sense of humor. I met Ian my freshman year of college as he was the drum major in the Spartan Marching Band. We didn’t become friends until my sophomore year though, and we developed an interesting routine that Spring. We liked each other, but one more than the other, and that other got hurt. Classic older guy, younger girl thing eh? He didn’t like me as much as I’d assumed, and I guess he was kind of playing me. But when it’s Ian, you can’t really hold it against him. That was never even official, and it lasted maybe two weeks.
-From Ian, I went back to old friend/love interest from high school: Jon Hypnar. Again, epitome of my type: skinny but ripped and dark, cynical, and brooding. We had dated for two weeks at some point in high school, and we started to hang out at the end of my sophomore year. We took a Cedar Point trip together and just fell into the cycle of dating. Jon wasn’t a mistake in any way, but again distance became an issue. He goes to Central and is active in their adventure club, which means he goes on trips almost every weekend, so it was difficult to see one another. Another relationship doomed to the distance. However, on a lighter note, my sister says this is the only relationship I’ve had that she said made sense… so that’s interesting.
-I went Jon to Max Catanese. Max was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and to be honest it’s still too fresh to talk about. I fucked up hard core, but I guess I will have to live with it and see what tomorrow brings. I think I could have married Max though. I will always be grateful to have him as a friend though.
-And now? Well, I am currently single. And who’s to say how long that will last or what will happen tomorrow or the next day? I’m sure there’s a boy out there who is perfect for me. Maybe I already know him.
So there is the complete history of my relationships in a nutshell. Oh! I forgot one major mistake. I’ve only ever had one one-night stand. I won’t say any names in this case, but that was really stupid of me, and I would take it back if I could.
So based on that wonderful list, I can’t help to be a bit jaded as well as cynical. I am confident that I will find someone. In fact… well I’ll leave that up to fate and just see what happens, but it’s still scary. I’m 21-years-old, and I will be graduating next Spring. I want to move out of Michigan, but I want to have someone to go with. I am a bit of a hopeless romantic, and that part of me just wants to fall in love once and for all.
I took a poetry class this past semester. I only 3.0-ed, which really pisses me off. But I was just re-reading some of the poems, and I want to post the first poem I wrote for that class here. The Professor wasn’t a big fan of it, but I like it, and I think it conveys some feelings I’ve always had. I suppose, here goes nothing:
the Extinguishing
i walked home alone tonight.
invisible stars high above,
cancer on the ground,
still fresh.
burned like a fallen star
until silently, i extinguished it.
i traveled to hell tonight; alone.
courted a forked-tongue,
burned under invisible stars,
inhaled cancer,
writhed under a false moon –
tripped, drowned, suffocated, bled,
cried to the cadence of your voice.
tried to choke out the words,
only blood, empty promises.
each inhale –
lies, inadequacy, regret.
each exhale – a cough, a plea.
i tried to breathe,
realized i couldn’t.
recalled the Extinguishing and
finally flicked it away.
free, finally
free.
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| Prisoner of Today |
[15 Aug 2008|11:40pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Stupify - Disturbed |
] |
I'm waiting for iTunes to sync all my music to my iPod right now, so I figured it would be a good time to update since I tend to go for months without updating. I'm smirking a bit on the inside right now, considering my last entry was just after I got home for the summer, and tonight it my last night in Rochester before heading back to school. Pre-season officially starts for Color Guard tomorrow. I can't believe it's that time already! Summer was great, and I know at the beginning of it I just wanted to be back in East Lansing, but now that it's over, I'm looking back and going, "Shit that went way too quickly."
This summer was a good one though. Despite the restrictions put upon me because I live at home and have ridiculously strict parents, I had fun. I went to Cedar Point, went to two Warped Tours, worked a lot of hours, hung out with the people that mean the most to me.
I spent my last evening/day going over to Wiecki's. We played some GTA and then hit up Zap Zone for a couple last summer games. Then I met Jon just long enough to talk for a bit and say good-bye. Those are always the worst; saying good-bye to a significant other. You know you will see them again, and probably soon, but it still sucks knowing you won't get to see them as much as usual. He goes to Central, which is only about an hour from State, so it will be easy enough to see each other.
In other news, I just realized the other day how close I am to being 21. It's kind of ridiculous thinking about it. I feel like I just turned 16. I still remember all the birthday parties I've had in the past and all the crazy things I've done with friends each year.
Well I'm not sure what else to say... so I guess this is it? Tomorrow begins pre-season. I am so ready to see everyone again. Bring on the SMB!
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|
| Devil Beside You |
[04 May 2008|11:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
Updating every once in awhile seems like a good idea. So summer is finally here, which should excite me right? Somehow, though, all I really want to do is go back to East Lansing. Rochester is great; it's home. But, school is where all of my friends are. It would be incredible to be able to stay up there and not have to worry about classes and school-related things. I miss Mindi, Erica, Ian, Marina, Rachel, fuck - everyone really. It's so surreal to wake up and not walk next door to see if Mindi's around. Not to text Erica during class for lack of anything better to do. Not to find just about any excuse to hang out with Ian - ok and for anyone that is rolling their eyes right now and going "Honey that is NOT a smart thing to do" I KNOW, I KNOW. The Ian thing... was fun, then complicated, then confusing, then frustrating, then awkward and now... over since its summer and I won't see him at all really. I miss everyone so much.
I've been home for four days, and it feels like much longer. I've worked both jobs, and both were the same as always. Fun with Steve at Sbux. Gossip with Nicole at the library. The usual. I got to hang out with Wiecki, Jenn and Jacob (read: guy bff, old old old friend from elementary school who also goes to MSU, junior in high school from youth group). I've watched a few movies, did some laundry, ran some errands, all that great mundane stuff that should happen during the summer. And now I'm ready for it to be over. Bring on preseason. Bring on work midnight to 7 am. Bring on classes even. I want to be back!
On another note: I need a boyfriend. I am not just saying this because I am lonely or because its been awhile; there are a lot of reasons. But I am definitely ready to be in a relationship again. Now I just need to find the other party that will be a part of that relationship. I'd like to think that maybe, just maybe, I've already found him, but I don't want to be presumptuous. Also I don't want to ruin something that is already a decent friendship and has potential to become a great, longterm friendship... Sometimes boys really suck.
I need to peace. I have nothing to do, but I don't feel like sitting here and typing random bullshit to waste time so... if you're in the area this summer, give me a ring, leave a comment, something. We should chill.
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| Ctrl. Alt. Delete. Reset my memory |
[20 Apr 2008|04:13pm] |
Nine years ago today, two teenaged boys stalked through the halls of their high school, leveling guns to the faces of their classmates and teachers. The terror began in the cafeteria as pipe bombs exploded and students fled from the bullets.
Dylan Klebold. Eric Harris. Will we ever fully grasp their motives? Will we continue to blame Mortal Kombat, Marilyn Manson, trench coats? The problem lies within people - schools, administrations, students.
Maybe the jocks shouldn't have thrown that beer bottle at Eric's head. Maybe Robin shouldn't have given in and bought guns for the boys. Maybe their parents should have paid closer attention to what was going on behind closed doors. Maybe the police should have done something about the threats Eric had publicly made online. Maybe the police should have searched Eric's room when Brooks Brown had proof Eric was hiding dangerous, illegal items. There are a lot of maybes... too many.
Since Columbine, there have been too many repeat offenders. Virginia Tech, Jokela High School, Matthew Shepard, Lawrence King. These are only a few of many. Virginia Tech shocked the nation; brought us to our knees. Living on a college campus, now, can seem threatening. Jokela High School received far less attention since it occurred overseas, yet it still happened. Both Matthew Shepard and Lawrence King were killed by classmates because of their sexualities. Violence and prejudice rules far too much of our world. How to fix the broken world?
There have been multiple songs written about Columbine, and on the anniversary I figure it's appropriate to post some of them:
( I don't want to rape your friends page... )
/EDIT: This was supposed to be an entry bitching about boy things, but it is not. So... sorry
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| My Chemical fucking Romance |
[25 Feb 2008|12:04am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Shut Me Up - MSI |
] |
So... I got tix to the My Chem/Billy Talent show on April 19 at the Filmore (formerly the State Theatre) in D-Town. I got them presale, and I'm pretty sure the ones I got are mainfloor.
So here's the thing, I bought two because I don't want to go alone, but I need someone to go with. Now, I don't really think it will be that difficult to get a taker eventually since it's such a small venue for such a HUGE band - My Chem.
Whoever contacts me first has dibs... You need to be willing to pay me at least $46 for the ticket, and maybe some gas money. I know My Chem is huge right now and they usually play arenas, so this is a chance to see them up close. If you know of ANYONE who may be interested, let them know and give them my contact info. I want to make sure someone takes this ticket.
"I can't wait for you to
FUCK ME UP."
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| It's almost midnight and I'm going crazy... |
[19 Feb 2008|11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Attagirl - Bettie Serveet |
] |
So my great friend Wiecki discovered this string quartet on ruckus that does all kinds of covers of different bands. So I now have a shitload of string quartet tributes to The Used, Panic at the Disco, Slayer, HIM, Senses Fail and more. It's really all kinds of ridiculous, but oh so wonderful at the same time. I can now listen to it while studying and not get so distracted by the lyrics, though music in general just excites me so much I'd prefer never to be studying and instead to always be listening to or making music. (Fuck college.)
I'm feeling quite restless as of late. I'm not completely sure why, though I'm fairly certain it has something to do with: a) the weather getting better (marginally) b) having been single for so long now c) (Re)discovering some bands that I have an incredible need to now go see live d) freaking out about the (near) future, a.k.a. graduating and getting a job - I desperately want to write for AP, or some equivalent; work with bands, be it managing, PR, etc.; and most importantly not be stuck doing something I dislike for the rest of my life.
My parents are not happy because I have decided I really want to pursue becoming a body piercer. I know that won't bring in enough money to adequately live off of, especially if I'm going to try to support a family, so I know I need something else stable, which is why I'm in school to become a high school teacher. While I know I would enjoy educating kids to an extent, I know I would have a much better time being out in the world, helping my friends make music and change the world. Honestly, I'd love to be one of those people out there making the music, but let's face it, I can't sing for shit (I may be able to scream, but I don't think I can make a career out of that). I don't know any bands that have a full-time flute player, and my bass skills need some mad improvement before I attempt to join any band.
My sister suggested trying to intern for To Write Love on Her Arms for the summer; see if I could go on Warped Tour with them, but they aren't hiring interns yet, since their venture is still quite small. Hil suggested merch girl, and I would absolutely love to do this. I know people romanticize that position a lot. They assume all you'll do is sell a few shirts and then go hang out with the bands, but it's so much more work than that, and I want to be able to do something for those people that make all that incredible music for the rest of the world to hear.
Well, now that I have officially just rambled for ages, I will take my leave. It's almost midnight... SLEEP TIME!
Whisper whisper don't make a sound.
Your bed is made.
And it's in the ground.
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| Northern Illinois University |
[15 Feb 2008|10:39am] |
I absolutely hate this fucking world. It's exactly times like these, I'd prefer to be dead than on the receiving end of more tragic news. Fuck every single person who had ever picked up a gun to shoot at another human being for the sole purpose of taking human life. Fuck the school administrators that don't give a shit about the kids who don't fit in or get a long with other students. Fuck those kids that think they're so much better than everyone else and mock their peers.
This makes me so fucking angry.
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| To Write Love on Her Arms |
[12 Feb 2008|10:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Oblivion" FFAF |
] |
I went to Michigan Tech over the weekend, and besides sitting in the car for an incredible amount of time, it was pretty freaking awesome. I really don't feel like reliving every detail but:
*I went snowboarding - it was awesome. I am definitely going again and again and again.
*I saw some sweet snow sculptures.
*I got to spend 4 days with Wiecki.
*I played Guitar Hero a lot. And euchre.
It was a good time.
So, I have these crazy dreams that I want nothing more than to come true. Like the band with Mindi, well it's not exactly a reality, but I would love to be in an actual band and be signed and tour and live that life. It's exactly the kind of thing where I would feel as if my life was complete. Right now, I look to the future and see nothing but sorrow and burdens. I'm no suicidal, but I honestly don't like the look of the future and I'd much rather die sooner than later so I don't have to deal with all that shit coming up...
*sigh* Pete Wentz won't you just sign me and my "band" to you label and let us tour with Panic?
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| You're cute when you scream |
[04 Feb 2008|11:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the fucking fan |
] |
So I'm pissed, just going to throw that out there right away. My roommate isn't (civilly) talking to me again. And, to be completely honest, I'm fucking sick of how she treats me. I know I'm trust people too easily, and I forgive and forget much too easily as well. It's one thing if she's legitimately angry with me, but for crying out loud, to stop talking to me or treat me like shit for a few days at a time whenever you're in a pissy mood is taking advantage of my demeanour, so fuck you.
Apparently she was pissed that I didn't throw my leftover Chinese food that was in the fridge away. And, yes, I will admit I have a tendency to leave stuff in the fridge for a few days (read: weeks), but she should definitely say something about it rather than just not talking to me. And I was planning on throwing it out last week too, but my week was fucking insane, and by the time I remembered I was home, in Rochester. And I felt really bad about it too. But if it bothered you that much, throw it away yourself goddammit!
I threw it away as soon as I got back yesterday, and I'm sorry it smelled bad and that I forgot, but really, not talking to me over it? Get over it! It just pisses me off that I can be so easily walked over. I like Julia I really do. I'm so glad we met, but she just keeps taking advantage of my compassion and shit.
Good news: Tech this week... fuck yes.
Oh, and I've decided I will marry Ryan Ross. Because I can. Thankyouverymuch.
The city is at war, playtime for the young and rich.
Ignore me if you see me, cuz' I just don't give a shit.
The city is at war, bless the young and rich.
With designer drugs and designer friends.
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| Take it away |
[29 Jan 2008|05:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Their screams |
] |
Untitled
It's times like these, when I look at you.
All I want to do, is take the blade, carve into the skin.
Remind myself what it was like when I loved myself more than I loved you.
So I can't decide if this one hits too close to home for some people, and if it is completely tasteless and inappropriate.
Too Far Gone
Sometimes I wonder. “Would they care?” I don’t think they would. No one sees me. I’m a ghost to them. They can point; they can laugh. They think I don’t care, that I like being alone. I don’t. Murderous fantasies often come to mind during class as I sit in the back of the room, hood up, head down. I’ll avenge my death. Because, yes, I am dead. They took everything I ever had. They took my dignity, my self worth, my life. I may still walk the halls, go to class, eat dinner with my family, take tests, but I do it all without feeling. I have no feeling, no reason to feel anymore.
I want to break that pattern. I can only imagine how brilliant it would be to walk down the halls one day with them all cowering beneath me, begging for their lives. But, no, they don’t deserve it. They took my life so it’s only fair that I take theirs, right? It would be a simple matter, really. They wouldn’t expect me to draw a gun. They wouldn’t expect me to lash out with a vengeance only seen in horror movies. They wouldn’t expect me to murder the cheerleader that sits next to me in Lit. But, how I wish I could do those things. Hear their screams echoing down the once full halls. See the crimson splashes across the white walls. Feel their hearts give one final beat. Smell the fear spreading like wildfire.
I want to watch the blood and brains explode out of some jocks skull as I pump bullet after bullet into his forehead. I want to listen to the screeches of our concert pianist as I break every last one of her fingers. I want to see the principal writhe in his seat once I’ve tied him there. I want to hear him beg as I take a knife to his veins. I want to taste the blood of that girl I loved even though she wouldn’t give me the time of day.
As I stalk down the halls in my heavy boots, I would crush hands, faces, anything I could beneath my heel. Leveling a gun to every one of their beautiful faces would be the best feeling ever. Pulling the trigger, observing the carnage - destruction everywhere.
Oh, but I can’t do any of those things. I have neither the resources nor the guts. So instead I ready the noose, cock the gun, count the pills, sharpen the blade, trace the veins, start the car, measure the cyanide, pour the gasoline, look over the edge, lie on the tracks, step into the street, secure the concrete block. Maybe, secretly, I hope someone will see this, see how desperate for the end I am. Maybe they can save me…
No, I’m already too far gone…
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| Mask of Sanity, aka itunes quiz |
[24 Jan 2008|09:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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cynical |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Four Year Strong |
] |
RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say...?
“Alone I Break” Korn
How would you describe yourself?
“Falling Away” Good Charlotte [So true… falling away…]
What do you like in a guy/girl?
“Demon(s)” Silverstein [hah, best answer ever]
How do you feel today?
“Beverly Hills” Weezer
What is your life's purpose?
“Take Me to the Riot” Stars
What is your motto?
“Black and Bruised” 18 Visions
What do your friends think of you?
“Emily” From First to Last [Well, apparently my friends don’t know me very well… My name is Liz guys.]
What do you think of your parents?
“Pictures” System of a Down
What do you think about very often?
“Perfect” Flyleaf
What is 2 + 2?
“(You’re) Timeless to Me” Hairspray
What do you think of your best friend?
“Gone Forever” [Sadly, this is true in an instance or two.]
What do you think of the person you like?
“Breathe Today” Flyleaf
What is your life story?
“Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Hell” Four Year Strong
What do you want to be when you grow up?
“Everytime I Die” Children of Bodom [Dead, it’s what I want to be when grown up… unsettling.]
What do you think of when you see the person you like?
“Broadcasting…” Silverstein
What will you dance to at your wedding?
“Sweet Sacrifice” Evanescence
What will they play at your funeral?
“Crawl Through the Darkness” Von Bondies
What is your hobby/interest?
“I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)” The Used [Hah, I do get crushes too easily.]
What is your biggest fear?
“The Leaving Song” AFI
What is your biggest secret?
“Your Sweet Six Six Six” HIM [AKA, my biggest secret is that Ville Valo is probably the most suave, attractive man on the face of the earth.]
What do you think of your friends?
“Savior” 30 Seconds to Mars
What will you post this as?
“Mask of Sanity” Children of Bodom
Whisper in the yard and turn the trees all into toys
Lay there on the ground and turn the dirt into your joy
From what i see and what i know its all been boring lately
So i suggest we trade a question mark in for a maybe
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| Motherfucker, I've been tagged... |
[23 Jan 2008|02:32pm] |
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Atreyu |
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A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself. Don't be boring.
B. Tag seven people to do the same. Take away their cookies if they don't do it.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".
1. I am a highly cynical person, and I think know the world is going to blow itself up someday (soon).
2. I would prefer to die by my own hand (aka a gun to the head) or in a crazy, exciting accident.
3. I would be dead right now if I didn't have music to listen to every day.
4. I once got "struck" by lightening.
5. I think Canada is freaking awesome, and I would love to live there.
6. I have a friend who travels around the world, and I am insanely jealous of him.
7. I really really like cheese. Or maybe it's just the word cheese...
And I tag MONICA DRAKE, ALEX, TANA, ELLIE MERRELLI, TERI, CAITLIN, MATHIAS. Though I am sure many of them will not comply, considering they never update...
I should have turned and ran like hell
last time I got a taste of you.
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| RIP Heath Ledger |
[22 Jan 2008|06:02pm] |
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Blood Brothers |
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Apparently he was found at 3:30 pm in Mary-Kate's apartment. It was an overdose. Now what leads me to post about his rather than writing my paper that is due tomorrow morning is the fact that it's only two hours later, and literally the world knows.
Now that's not necessarily a bad thing, but, really CNN? Come on, I totally understand ONTD**; that's a given... Even Wikipedia is already updated. Heath is a "was" now. No longer Heath Ledger, an Australian actor, but Heath Ledger was an Australian actor. One post of ONTD already has close to 2,000 comments about this, and it's been mere hours.
Obviously Ledger was a great actor. He always played great roles, and he always seemed to be a nice guy in real life. It's such a shame to see such talent and youth go to waste; it really is sad that he's gone, but already the world knows. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Celeb-reality. I know I've given celebrities too much focus at times, but, as a nation, we are fucking obsessed. Remember Benazir Bhutto? And be honest with yourself. If you have no idea who I'm talking about, ok. But if you do, you know that her assassination was all over the news quickly too, but she's a political figure, not a movie star, a hot movie star to boot. So I guess this is sort of a rant about how so much of our society is concerned with the trivial things. Entertainment is definitely an important part of our culture, but at the same time, it's not the only thing out there.
I'm not even sure where I'm going with this so I'm going to end it here, and try to do this paper before practice.
**I tried to link to ONTD, but it's not loading because of so much traffic. So search interest "celebrity gossip" on interests here on LJ if you're interested in seeing the community Oh No They Didn't for more info...
I don't care if your world is ending today.
Because I wasn't invited to it anyway.
You said I tasted famous so I drew you a heart
But now I'm not an artist, I'm a fucking work of art.
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| The truth about conformity is it bites without a sting... |
[20 Jan 2008|09:13pm] |
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The Receiving End of Sirens |
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I'm very happy with how today went. I really haven't had the chance to hang out with Rachel all year, and I rarely hang out with Hil, so it was great to be able to spend pretty much all day with the two of them. The two of them are hilarious and refreshing to be with. They know how to have fun, but they can still have a meaningful conversation.
So I woke up around 1 pm, which was awesome. Rachel spent the night after being "sexiled" from her room. Although in this instance, perhaps sexile isn't the correct term. We'll just leave it at she needed to sleep in a room sans males. Hil ended up coming over and we all went out to Olga's and Target. It was quite fun.
Huddle was last night, and it was much better than last year, in my opinion. I took Scott again, which was a good decision; we had a blast dancing and everything. It was good to see everyone from band again too; it'd been too long.
I'm already to go home for a weekend. Being here on the weekends makes me feel so unproductive. I never do my homework til the last minute, like now... And I have another reason entirely to go home now. *wink* I'm not sure what the boy situation is exactly right now, but I do know I'm interested in him and he's interested in me. It's just a matter of hanging out sometime now and getting to know each other better.
So winterguard tomorrow. It will most likely rape me up the ass. It's another 9-9 practice with both Peter and Joshua... This will be immensely interesting. Then we have a "mini" camp the rest of the week, which basically means we go for practices every other night this week for 3-4 hours. So the homework front isn't looking too great right now, even though I did get a head start. I'm just in no mood to do anything productive now. (I don't think I can count updating LJ productive...)
Oh, and the last entry. I was simply satirizing my life... so don't worry too much about me turning into that "shut-the-fuck-I'm-so-much-more-hardcore-than-you" scene kid at a show.
When did they assume, putting on a costume
Gave them a right to ostracize?
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| I have embraced my inner emo kid... |
[17 Jan 2008|11:39pm] |
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HIM |
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I have decided my life utterly sucks. I am literally falling into a huge chasm of darkness and despair. I went out and bought three different brands of black eyeliner today. I've been listening to Bright Eyes, Brand New and HIM nonstop the past few days.
I honestly don't know what to do with my life. The emptiness I feel just engulfs everything I do. I can't wake up without wanting to die. Regrettably, I don't own enough black. No song, book or movie satisfies my lust for teen angst. All I can think about is my broken, mangled heart, which lies somewhere on the floor of his dwelling. How I've continued living without this essential organ, I will never know. I do know that I will never be complete without him.
I have this class; we talk about oppression a lot. And if anyone is oppressed, it's me. I mean, come on. I go to a huge school, and I have no friends. My roommate hates me. I don't have a boyfriend. God, I'm despicable.
I wish it was like back home, so I could go to Caribou and just sit there with my friends. I'd spend far too much money on shitty espresso drinks so I can discuss my "existential" outlook on life. (Existentialism is a form of atheism right?) Then we would go to a show. And, god, I would do anything to meet the band members. God, guys in bands are so fucking hot. (Do me Sonny Moore! You too Oli Sykes!)
Yeah, that's Sonny. Soooo hot!
And, of course, Oli.
Oh, I bought more skinny jeans. They look really good on me, but I need some more hardcore band t-shirts to go with them. For sure I need Cute is What We Aim For and probably Fall Out Boy. Then I'll probably get some Drop Dead, Gorgeous and Blessthefall too.
So, I think I want to get a new livejournal. I'm thinking something a long the lines of xbleedxmedryx or brokenxxxdreams. What do you guys think?
Well, I'm out. I have to do some fucking homework. I swear, everyday my life becomes more monotonous.
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| Just a feeling... |
[13 Jan 2008|11:30pm] |
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Situations - Escape the Fate |
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This time of year, I always become depressed and cynical. I think it may be because this is the time my sophomore year when I developed a major vice due to "teen angst".
Well, I'm not a teenager any longer, but I still feel angsty at times. Like now. Winter is shitty enough. But I always feel worse for wear during this season. There's been all sorts of psychological studies that show more people commit suicide in winter and more people are depressed, etc, etc. That doesn't really surprise me; especially considering Michigan's climate.
I think the amount of amazing people I'm forced to recall this time of year only makes the situation worse. Two amazing women were taken last year around this time: Mrs. Gifford and Mrs. Biegun. Both were incredible people, and they are missed immensely. I can barely comprehend, still, that Mrs. Gifford is gone. She was a daily figure in my life, and before I could blink, she was gone. Elizabeth Hamilton died too young as well. She was only in sixth grade, and I know it was so long ago, but I still remember that day vividly. The tears everyone shed. She's an angel; there's no way around it.
I wish everyone the best during these tumultuous months. Keep those you love close because while the weather blows, you may realize you need a shoulder to lean on.
Darling, what is going on?
Honestly, that never happened.
Lying is your favorite passion.
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